Tuesday, 5 November 2013

An Unexpected Personal Post

Some of you may know, but most of you won’t: seven years ago, my mum was first diagnosed with breast cancer. She fought it, hard. Then it came back several more times and she kept fighting it.

For the past few months she’s been having chemo every Friday and on last Friday she came home with some bad news. It’s gotten more aggressive and spread to her lungs and her liver. They’re going to ravage her with crazy strong bouts of more chemo and she’s going to get very ill, but it won’t get rid of it. They told her that they don't know how long she’ll have left.

I have a younger sister – she’s nearly seventeen – and I’m only twenty-one. I have a job that pays just over the minimum wage and my dad has another family nearly an hour away. She told me that she’s going to sign the house over to me and ‘make arrangements’. I stopped listening at that point.

During the night I decided that I would apply to be my little sister’s legal guardian to ensure that my dad wouldn’t make her move away from her college to live miserably with him and the stepmonsters.

I have no idea when this is going to happen, when all of these plans will come to fruition. When I’ll be 21 and in charge of a four-bedroom house and a seventeen year old. But it will happen.

What I’m trying to say is that I might disappear. But I might not. Blogging and books might once again be my saving grace. I just don't know yet, and I’d really quite like not to find out for a very long time. But when it happens, things will change.

And I see you all as my friends and I wanted you to know. I called two of my best friends when I found out; one came up from near Winchester (two hours away) the next morning, and the other came down from university, blowing off filming for an assignment. They’ve already been amazing and I know you guys’ll have my back as well.



  1. I'm so sorry to hear about all of this. What you are going through, and will be going through - I can't even imagine. I'm glad you've got your friends who can help you through all this, and hopefully things go as slowly and painlessly as possible. My thoughts are with you and your family.

  2. Stay strong. I admire your willingness to do what needs to be done and take on so much responsibility. You are an inspiration . I hope that your mother's remaining time is filled with love, joy and peace.

  3. Sweetie, I am so sorry. I'm here if you need me, I'm not all that far away, but I hope Sara and Jess have been looking after you and Amy. Stay strong, ok? And remember that we all love you, me especially.

  4. I'm so sorry you have to go through this. You are an excellent blogger with one of the best book blogs that could catch the attention of ANY reader. Your family does take priority and do everything you can to make things work for you, your daughter, and your mom. You have the support of the blogging world!

  5. Oh Sophie, I'm so, so sorry to hear your news and I can't even imagine what you're going through :o( I just wanted to say that I'll be thinking of you and if there is ever anything I can do to help (even if it's just offering a friendly shoulder to cry on!) then you know where I am. I'm glad your sister has you looking out for her but make sure you let your friends and family take care of you too. I'm sure it's a big relief to your Mum knowing you and your sister will help each other through this and I hope you are all able to make the most of the time she has left. *Hugs*

  6. Hey Soph.

    I'm not gonna write much here cos I'm going to email you at some point, but I'm so so sorry and I almost know what you're going through. Almost, but not quite.

    I couldn't read at all when my mum had her cancer, but I would advise you to try. Do anything that will take your mind off it; anything at all. It will save you in the long run, I promise.

    I'm really sorry, and spend as much time with your mum as you can. I spose that's all I can say.

    jen xxx

  7. I'm so, so sorry to hear this, Sophie. You're one of the loveliest people I know and I feel so lucky to have been able to get to know you. Although I'm not much help, my Twitter, Facebook or email is open at any time if you want to chat.

    You've obviously got the best friends ever (can I steal them from you, please?!) and we're all here for you too. If you need to take a break, or want to give up all together, we'll all completely understand, however sad we may be.

    You're one of the people I really look up to and you've been nothing but nice to me since we started chatting. Your blog is one of my favourites and I love reading each and every one of your posts. This comment is probably turning into an essay now, but I just wanted to let you know that we all love you and will support you through anything. We're here, Sophie!

  8. Sometimes it can be hard to find the words and I am in that moment now. I want to tell you how sorry I am for you but I also want to say that you're an incredibly strong individual and I believe that whatever happens and wherever life takes you, you'll take it on with a strong head.
    I also know that you have amazing friends and all of us here in the blogging world will miss you if you leave but we will also understand but we will also keep in contact with you, because how could we not when you're a friend to us all as well.
    And, I want you to know that I will always be here for you, willing to help in any way I can - including still helping with the idea we had a while back. Obviously, whenever you're ready. I'm not going anywhere and I won't start anything without you.
    But also, just as a friend to talk to, or just to take your mind off things. We may not be the closest but I would still consider you one of my closer blogger friends and that won't change.

    All my thoughts are with you and your family,
    Faye <3

  9. Oh Sophie, my friend

    My heart goes out to you. This whole situation is horrible but I am pleased that you have these steady friends to help you through it. And, from the messages here, you can tell the impact you've had on your online friends. I'd like to extend my hand in help too, if you need advice or just to rage. I've been where you are and it's horrible and it takes a long time to recover, but you know what? You do and things get better because you take one small step at a time and you keep doing what you have to, because you're not a quitter. All the hugs and cuddles. You are a strong and sweet young woman and I genuinely wish I could wave a wand and make this 200% better.

  10. Sophie - I'm so, so sorry to hear your news. Sending love and hugs to you, your sister and your mum.

    As everyone else here has said - just let me know if there is anything you need

    x Sammee

  11. Sophie - I'm so, so sorry to hear your news. Sending love and hugs to you, your sister and your mum.

    As everyone else here has said - just let me know if there is anything you need

    x Sammee

  12. Wow- Sometimes there are no words, and I honestly have no idea what to say. Nothing I can say will make it better, but it's as you say- us, your blogging friends have your back. Support, sympathy, encouragement, understanding. Whatever you need.
    This post brought a tear to my eye, and I really feel for you. I can't imagine what you must be going through.
    I love your blog and always read your posts, and you have always been so lovely to me as well. You are so strong. I hope you'll be able to keep blogging, but you don't need to explain or defend yourself if you can't.


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