A few of you asked for post-uni updates after my ‘Things I learnt at university’ post a few weeks ago, so here you are!
As I write this, I’ve been home from university for three weeks and I’m going insane. I sent the first two weeks looking for a job; I just one in La Senza, but I don’t start until July 16th. For the third I just rearranged my bedroom, read and blogged. God knows what I’m going to do with the next two...
I was so relieved to get my job. It was the only interview I got after handing out over 20 CVs and I was losing hope, if I’m honest. The thing is that I know I’m going to be miserable. I think it’ll be the kind of situation where I’m taken advantage of, I’ll spend every single shift wishing to be at home and applying furiously for publishing positions to no avail. I was prepared for post-uni not to be so great but I don’t think I was properly aware of the stress of it.
Being back at home after practically living by myself for three years is HARD. My mum is constantly nagging, me and my little sister are besties one minute and the next she gets all ‘I know best’ and I want to punch her in the face. It’s rather infuriating; I’m used to chilled atmosphere where I can hide if things do get a little rocky. Now I get moaned at for spending time alone in my room...
I guess it comes down to the fact that I changed while I was at BSU without my mum and sister to witness it or have the time to fully understand it. They’ve gone back to how it was before and I can’t. I won’t hesitate to throw a sarky jab or a cheeky joke or try to instigate mini-danceathon in the living room and they think I’ve gone mad. I’m lucky to have them both, and I do love them fiercely, I just, oh God, get me out.
We’re having to get used to each other again. The fact that my head and heart are all over the place probably doesn’t help! I miss my Sara and my Sean, I miss Bath, I miss learning, I miss having freedom and the future isn’t looking particularly bright at the moment. The thought that I spent £30,000 and three years of my life to get a degree that’s resulted in me working in retail is utterly depressing. I know that you never get the job you want straight away but I guess I’d secretly hoped that I would and it’s kind of crushing.
I just have to remember that this is all a means to an end and that sometime, somewhere, is my happily ever after. I just have to get through the utter shitness of this first. Thank Thor for books and Twitter, aye?
(Also, I totally loved being able to make a reference to The Hobbit [the title if you weren’t sure!] without feeling like a fraud!)